I've caught myself battling envy over the last few weeks.
And not wallowing or fixating on one certain subject, but noticing things here and there that others have, and wishing I had that same opportunity.
Wow, I wish I had an apartment like that. It'd be nice to get paid THAT much! I wonder what my life would be like with their schedule? I'd love to be in that good of shape.
It's somewhat fleeting, but the constant thoughts that parade through my head have begun to raise a few flags. As I see it, envy - which is to want for something that doesn't belong to you - is to throw our many blessings in God's face.
I have a good job that I enjoy. I have a comfortable place to live. I have my health (except my knees, they do not have my health), and I've been blessed with the ability to express myself with music. That's an awful lot, and it's only the beginning. It should have been the first thing on the list: I'm loved by the God of the universe.
That should trump everything else, and easily so. It's a sad realization of mine to discover how ungrateful I've been over the last few weeks, choosing to focus on the difficulties of life rather than to praise God for the ways I've been carried through the hard times.
Over the next few weeks, I'll make a concerted effort to remember and thank the Lord for a blessing of mine every time envy begins to creep back in. It won't just help my envious thoughts, it will direct my eyes upward and encourage me to dwell on the positive things.
I also hope to get back into writing, now that I've completed the move in to Scappoose. The office is just a mile away (instead of 40), and I'll have plenty of time to spare.
Grace and Peace.