|This picture is because tumblr and wine. Don't judge.|
With a place in my internal hierarchy open, the struggle and goal is to place something positive into that hole - something that will create a base from which to move forward in every aspect of my life.
Part of that base is finally listening to the voice of reason, releasing my pride and giving ear to the heart of Christ. My life and my mind have for years been hamstrung by the lies of the evil one, and it's time to let the love of God replace those with his truth.
I'm not lazy, I'm not a coward. I don't shirk from tough situations. I am not the product of chance, simply put together by the way the chips fell.
But to take that even further, look at how each of those statements was phrased. It's about me. All about me, which is yet another lie I have allowed myself to believe.
Christ in me is not lazy. Christ in me is not a coward, and shrinks not from trying circumstances. I am not the product of mere happenstance, but of a longstanding gift of LOVE and the work of Christ in me.
There's a start. Yes, I have fallicies, but Christ in me does not. I no longer have need to hold on to the battles of the past - they are as far removed from me as the East is from the West. Because of Christ in me, I have the power to push past the things which have troubled me.
I am beginning to wonder if the very name of this blog speaks ill of what God's love does for those who accept it in it's fullness. The early idea was that I would write down my experiences so I could look back as the Lord took me from a broken, useless servant and made me into a bless'ed vessel, but could I be more wrong?
By accepting the love of Christ, are I not already blessed? Sanctification isn't taking something disheveled and transforming it by magic into something different. On the contrary. The redemptive process, in truth, is the walk of an already saved and beloved creature with his Creator, becoming ever more like the one whose Hands formed him from the beginning.
I would appreciate continued prayer on this matter, and for my dear brother in law Josh, who helped me to see a little light in this convoluted situation.
Note: For those who follow this blog and haven't heard from me personally (I deactivated my Facebook account, coinciding with the event I mention in the second graph), I will be moving to St. Helens, Oregon in the coming weeks. The move is to be closer to my job, which is based in Scappoose.