I'll be honest and say that there are a lot of places in my life that I need to be humbled in. God has taken those places one by one and laid them bare: my home, my income, my car, my love life, my future... and now another idol: my career in journalism.
I recently applied for a position at a small community newspaper, the one in my home town of Molalla. In my eyes, I had everything to offer that the position called for. I am strong in my writing skills, I'm a solid photographer and I am good in design. I know what I'm doing when it comes to the area of sports journalism, and I take pride in that. I walked into the interview with a killer portfolio, dressed to impress, and walked out feeling as though I had rocked the socks off of the interview. Today, I received an email letting me know that I was not chosen.
Um, what? I thought this interview and job were a God thing, an open door that I was supposed to jump through. I thought that God had provided this - why the brief glimpse and then the let down?
Right now, I can't see that. Right now, I've just got to keep from putting my head back down and trodding on with my life in retail. Right now, I struggle with wanting to put myself out there just to be disappointed once more.
What I do know is how resounding my first thought was upon reading the email. What a humbling. Oh, what a painful humbling. A young, hot-shot journalist can't pick up a job at a tiny community newspaper? THAT is a God thing.
My lesson for the moment is this, though I'm shocked to the point of tears: my growth in the LORD outweighs anything I could ever do elsewhere. That is to be my focus.
"Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you. Then your goodness will shine like the sun, and your fairness like the noonday sun. Wait and trust the Lord. Don't be upset when others get rich or when someone else's plan succeeds." - Psalm 37:5-7
I received a second email from the editor of the newspaper, letting me know that I was "top of the list" and a great candidate for the job, but lost out only because there were a few applicants that had more experience in an editor's position. How edifying is that! I have no degree, and no previous professional experience, yet I was a finalist in their search. Yet another blessing, and a reassurance from the Lord that I am headed in the right direction and that, in his time the Lord will move forward in the next step of his plan.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!