|Solid Rock Downtown - The place to be at 8 p.m. on Sunday evenings in Portland.|
Last week at the church I attend on Sunday evenings, I made my way up to the prayer room that is provided for people who need prayer, have questions, or simply want somebody to talk with. I had several things on my mind, and made the trip as much for prayer as for the chance to talk my thoughts out with a brother in Christ.
It just so happened that I met with Mike, the downtown pastor at Solid Rock, the body that has become my home over the last two years. I laid out several of the things that were on my heart: I still hadn't called the woman who had given me a business card out of the blue at work (view previous posting for context), I had been dragging my feet on starting a missional community in an area that God had presented to me, and a few others. Each instance being a time that the Lord had opened a door that either I refused to walk through, or walked through slow and late.
Over the course of several minutes of open, honest conversation, Mike said that I should look and try to find the root of why I hesitated to jump through the doors and windows that God had wide open in front of me. Was it fear? Pride? Did I feel undeserving? Or was it something else?
I told Mike that I would think and pray on it (which I have done, but it needs more work), but that initially, I know that one of my most common tenancies is to simply keep the status quo - doing what is necessary to keep things the way they are, and nothing more. I'm motivated by desperation more often than not, and things don't happen until the last minute, or won't happen at all if I don't see them as essential.
|They call me a hipster, sometimes.|
While this complacency is a habit that needs changing in all areas of my life, there isn't any waiting to change it in respects to God. My sister has promised to make my life difficult if I haven't called the woman by Friday, and Mike directed me to the man in charge of the ministry, but moving forward in this battle with complacency is still very much a battle that I don't know how to win.
For now, it's baby steps. I'll call that lady tomorrow morning, and I am about to draft an email to the pastor at my church, but it's a problem that I'll need help in solving. Thoughts?
"So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." - Revelation 3:16