Change is difficult for me. I'm excited for the new possibilities that come from a larger town and a bigger newspaper. I'll get to cover seven high schools instead of two. I'll get to cover some collegiate athletics, including Oregon and Oregon State at times. Rent is cheap; the future is bright.
But something about all of this is still terrifying. I think it goes back to yearnings over the last several years for the chance to have God ask me to blindly jump into a new situation.
I know three people in Grants Pass/Medford, and one of them is my future editor. I don't make friends very easily, and usually prefer to hide away with Netflix, my cat and a bottle of wine. The prospect of having to find an apartment some 250 miles away and cultivate a new group of friends puts me on edge.
This is definitely a jump: find a home, find a church, find a new life. It's a fresh start, and one that God can dictate from the beginning.
Hopefully, I can look back at this post a year from now and write about how God stepped in and found me a place to live. I'll have a group of people I can trust and spend time with, and life will be peachy.
Experience should be enough proof, right? I found an apartment in Oregon City because I happened to look out the window on my way to work and discovered a perfect situation which hadn't ever been advertised on Craigslist. My place in Scappoose is close to my office, is cheap enough for me to afford and has been a good living situation.
For some reason, though, I still have anxiety about where I'll live. I've spent the last few days anxiously checking Craigslist, the local online classifieds and other apartment websites, desperate for a lead. Will I have a roommate? Will I have to live at the new office? How hard will it be to find a place for my cat?
I have to expect that God's answer will come in time. Maybe it'll come when I drive down in a few weeks to check things out again. Maybe it'll come after I've been living on somebody's couch for a month. But whatever happens -- and I need to work this into my fear-filled heart -- God will carry me through.